If you don’t feel connected to the idea of a big traditional wedding and would rather plan a wedding that’s intimate and true to who you are: You’re in the right place! In this guide, you’re going to learn everything you need to know about how to elope so you can have the best experience possible. 

Why trust us? Well, we’ve not only helped tons of other couples plan their elopements, but we eloped ourselves! We’ve been in your shoes before and consolidated all our years of knowledge and experience on the topic onto this one page! 

No matter where you are in the planning process, our step-by-step guide will help you plan a wedding that’s truly yours.

Let’s jump right in! 

Elopement Definition

Things have changed a lot over the years, so to make sure there’s no confusion, here’s our written definition of what a modern elopement is:

Elopement:

Getting married in an intentional way that is true to who you are as a couple, keeping all the traditions you love and letting go of the ones you don’t. Prioritizing a relationally-focused, meaningful experience over material things, and including a limited amount of loved ones to keep the day intimate and special. (Often includes unique, personalized activities to make the wedding an unforgettable adventure!)

If you’re interested in an even more in-depth explanation of what an elopement is you should read this: What Is an Adventure Elopement? 

P.S. Congratulations on your upcoming marriage!!! Marriage is truly one of life’s greatest adventures and we’re so excited for you to have an intentional wedding experience.

10-Step Guide on How to Elope

With every step, remember now is the time to let go of other people’s expectations, big wedding traditions, or cultural norms telling you what a wedding is “supposed to be”. This is the time to listen to your heart.

1. Start Dreaming About Your Elopement

A great work of art often begins with a concept or a vision, so the first step in your elopement planning process is to dream big and figure out the overall vision and vibe that you want for your elopement. 

This part is so much fun! First off, have a date night, go for a walk, order some takeout, or go somewhere you feel at peace – now it’s time to discuss and dream. Ask yourselves this: If you could have a wedding where you go anywhere, do anything, with no limitations at all, where would you go, what would you do, what would it feel like? Don’t worry at all about it being “realistic”, just dream and let your minds wander! 

Now, close your eyes and imagine saying your vows to your partner during your dream wedding. Imagine everything about that moment: What’s the scenery like? Are you alone or with loved ones? What feelings are inside your heart? Have fun with it and write down a list of anything and everything you envisioned! 

Pro Tip: After your dreaming session, start an elopement Pinterest board and pin everything that catches your eye. Over time you’ll start to see some common themes emerge that will help you in planning later. Plus, you may see inspiration that sparks ideas you hadn’t thought of before!

2. Choose Your Location and Date

It’s time to use the dreaming from Step One! Did you picture saying your vows surrounded by towering mountains? On a moody beach with fog and evergreens? In a romantic city with history and art in every corner? Narrow in on your vision and start researching places in the world that fit what you’re looking for.

If possible, we recommend choosing your location before your date – let’s say you have your heart set on Glacier Point in Yosemite, but you’ve already chosen a date in February and Glacier Point is not accessible in the winter. When you choose your location first, you can use that to determine the best times of year for the location that you fall in love with.

That being said, there are many reasons to choose your date first as well! Maybe you want to get married on a specific date that’s meaningful to you (we love it when couples do this!). Or your job/school dictates that you have to get married during a certain season. 

Pro Tip: We’ve included a quick guide to help you choose the perfect elopement location at the end of this blog that has a lot more information, so keep reading!

3. Book Your Elopement Photographers 

Here’s some good news: this step can also be switched with Step 2! Many elopement photographers, like us, will help you with a lot of the planning process. We love to help couples choose the perfect location and time of year, get permits, make timelines, and much more. Chances are, this is your first time planning an elopement. So why not have someone who’s done it before help you through every step of the process?

You should find photographers who specialize in elopements and will document your day with beautiful photos in a style that resonates with you. An often overlooked aspect of great elopement photographers are people that you connect with, simply as people! Your photographers should value the same things you value, and most importantly they should be a positive presence during your elopement so you can focus on enjoying your adventure!

(Since you’re looking for photographers to connect with, check out this page to read more about who we are!)

Pro Tip: In our own experience and according to thousands of others, prioritizing quality photographers is one of the most important things you can do for your elopement. The only things from your elopement that will last forever are 1. Your love and 2. Your photos. 

4. Invite Your Guests (or don’t)

While some people want a “just us” elopement, you can absolutely include guests in your elopement as well! You can share your experience with your closest loved ones by having them at your ceremony, eating a meal together, getting ready with them, or wherever you feel their presence would enrich your experience. 

An intimate celebration means you get to spend so much more quality time with the people you’re closest to. Rather than many people’s traditional wedding experience of having a few scattered minutes here and there with your loved ones, you’ll get to spend hours of quality time with the people who matter to you the most.

When you’re choosing who to invite, think about the select people you want to share this experience with the most, people who have been by your side and will continue to be there throughout your marriage! It’s especially important to only include people who will uplift and support you and your wishes during your wedding. It’s wise to respectfully not include anyone who will bring you stress, try to take control, or add negativity to your elopement.

Fact: It is 100% possible to love and value someone as a human, and also not include them on the guest list for your elopement.

By the way, there are so many ways to involve loved ones in your elopement, even if they aren’t physically present for it! 

During your elopement, you can read letters from loved ones or video call them to celebrate. After your elopement, you can have a celebration with a few people, a few dozen people, or a few hundred people! Anything from a casual photo viewing party to a full-on reception. 

Pro Tip: We highly recommend a two-day elopement if you do have guests because you can spend an entire day celebrating with your loved ones, and an entire day for just the two of you – the best of both worlds! 

5. Get Your Permits and Marriage License 

Paperwork is an annoying but important part of your elopement planning journey, so here’s what you need to know to make it as streamlined as possible:

For any public land, like a National Park, you’ll most likely need to get a permit in order to have your wedding there. Permit requirements vary, so you can go to the official government website for your location and search for wedding or special use permit information to find out the exact process for your location.

There’s also the matter of making sure you get legally married! Every state’s process is a little different, so be sure to research the requirements and guidelines for the country or state you’re holding your elopement. Some states require two witnesses and an officiant, while other states like Colorado allow you to self-solemnize which means you basically can be your own officiant! 

To make things less stressful, we’d recommend that you book an elopement photographer who will help you figure out and obtain the permits you need — as well as give guidance on the requirements to get married in your location (especially if you’re eloping in another country). We’ve done this for destination elopements all over the world so don’t worry, we can answer your questions and help you all along the way. 

Pro-Tip: If you’re having an elopement in another country or state and would prefer to simplify the process, you can just get legally married in your home city and then be free to have a symbolic ceremony elopement! The day you sign the legal paperwork does not have to be the day you personally choose to start your marriage, have your anniversary, and celebrate your love for years to come! 

6. Find Your Elopement Attire & Accessories

Stunning dresses, sharp suits, and whatever else you want to wear: It’s time to get your wedding attire! This can be done whenever you want in the process, here’s why we’ve placed it as Step 6:

First, it’s best to know your location and time of year before getting your attire. A light dress or linen suit will be wonderful for the granite valleys of Yosemite in summer, but you’ll find yourself shivering in that same attire in the snowy mountains of the Dolomites where a thicker material will be better to keep you warm. 

Time frame is important as well. Keep in mind the average time it takes to order a wedding dress is 6-8 months. But the good news is that there are lots of amazing options that won’t take that long. No matter how long you expect this process to take, it’s always good to give yourself way more time than you think you’ll need.

Another thing to consider is what you’ll be doing on your wedding day! How much hiking or walking will be involved? How will you need to move for other activities like riding bikes or horses? Talk to your elopement photographers to help you think about all these questions and many more so that your attire never gets in the way of your adventure and only adds to the experience! 

Pro Tip: Go back to your dream elopement that you thought about in Step 1. And ask: What was your dress/suit/etc. like? Flowy sleeves? Long train? Editorial? Leather jackets? Two-piece jumpsuit? The options are endless and just like everything else: Be true to who you are and embrace it! (And remember that a long flowy dress to catch the wind will always add so much romance and drama to your elopement photos!)

7. Book your Other Wedding Vendors

Congratulations! You’ve booked your photographers, chosen a beautiful location, and picked a date! Now you can book the rest of your vendors such as hair & makeup artists, officiants, florists, and so on. Search the local area for vendors that fit the style you’re looking for, are willing to go to wherever your location is, and if possible, specialize in elopements!

At this point, you can also ask your elopement photographers to help you search or narrow down your options! We love sending vendor suggestions for our couples to help them find the perfect people for their elopement.

Pro Tip: Don’t forget about more unique vendors like luxury picnic creators, helicopter tour guides, etc. 

8. Book Your Accommodations and Travel 

Where you stay for your elopement is so much more than just the place you’ll sleep, it’s a part of your wedding experience! This is the space you’ll most likely be getting ready at, so ensure that the decor and vibe are something you’ll love having in your photos! (Photo Tip: The more windows and natural light, the better!)

Whether it’s a few hours away or another country, the earlier you book your travel, the lower the prices will be and the more options you’ll have. For accommodations you can choose whatever fits your vision for your elopement the best! Airbnbs, hotels, VRBOs, airstreams, campsites – the possibilities are endless. 

We’ve been to 25+ countries and 20+ states, so if you’re travel-obsessed like we are, then this is one of the most fun and exciting steps!

Pro Tips: 

• The ideal window to book domestic flights at the lowest prices is 2-6 months out. For international flights, it’s 3-10 months out.
• Google Flights is the best place to look for flights as it compiles all available flights, you can add multiple airports, and it has the best customization.

9. Create Your Timeline

This step is so exciting! Your vision for your dream elopement is coming to life, and things are coming together beautifully. Now it’s time to create a timeline to ensure your elopement is what you want it to be. Don’t worry, this isn’t about planning what you’ll do down to the minute or being stressed about keeping to a schedule. When we help our couples create their timeline, our golden rule is this: The timeline serves you, you don’t serve the timeline. 

Just like your elopement overall, your timeline is the place to prioritize what you value most: slow morning moments, mountain hikes, capturing wedding details, sharing a meal with loved ones, etc. Unique activities are a big part of what makes your elopement 100% you, so think about the things you love to do together! Don’t worry, we’ve got a list of tons of activity ideas we share with all our couples to help get your creative juices flowing.

Pro Tip: During the timeline phase it’s very common to realize that you don’t have as much photo coverage time as you want and you want to add more. After all, this is the grand crescendo of your love story up until this point – every single moment deserves to be remembered!

10. Have an Unforgettable Adventure

The day is finally here! You wake up nervous, excited, and totally at peace all at the same time because you know that no matter what happens today: You’re going to marry the love of your life – the way that you want to. 

Exploring alpine lakes, strolling through foggy forests, wandering ancient streets, dancing on sandy beaches, or hiking mountain vistas: the possibilities are endless. And the beautiful thing is that whatever you do for your elopement, it will be authentic to you. 

So live every single moment to the fullest! Because this is the start of your greatest adventure ever.

This is your wedding.

Bonus Step: Sharing the News 

Just because you didn’t choose to have many people at your wedding, doesn’t mean you can’t celebrate your marriage with them if you want to! 

• Post those beautiful photos on social media! Proclaim your love and tell the story of your adventure. (We include short edited iPhone videos of your day in some of our elopement packages that are perfect for sharing on social media along with your photos!)
• Have a dinner party, barbeque, or whatever type of gathering you want, and share the photos! (The best way to do this is through a storytelling wedding album!)
• Have an elopement reception! This can be anytime after your elopement, a low-key gathering, or a big party with speeches and dancing.

Just like how you get married, the way you choose to share and celebrate your elopement is up to you! Your marriage is a beautiful thing. And it deserves to be celebrated in a way that is meaningful and authentic to who you are.

Many of our couples contact us without knowing the exact location or time of year they want to have their elopement. No matter where you are in the planning process, it’s not too early to reach out! 

Frequently Asked Questions About Eloping 

What’s the difference between an elopement and a big wedding? 

Short Answer: The primary differences are the intentionality of the day, the number of guests, the location possibilities, and the experience of the couple getting married.

Intentionality

• The intention of elopements is to create an experience for the two people getting married to celebrate their love in a way that’s authentic to them. While big weddings can be intentional, they tend to focus more on traditions, guest experience, and common wedding industry practices.

Number of guests

• Big weddings have anywhere from 100-500 guests with an average of about 180. Elopements have 0-20 guests, which means you get to spend quality time connecting with your closest loved ones, and not worry about the idea of hundreds of people’s attention on you.

Location

• Elopements can be held on almost any public land such as National Parks, with options including mountains, beaches, lakes, forests, and more. They can also take place in unique locations within a city. Big weddings are almost always limited to traditional venues.

Experience 

• Couples who have modern elopements always remark about how stress-free their wedding day was. Elopements can be crafted with your peace in mind so that you can be grounded and present. While not always true, many couples who have big weddings end up feeling rushed and stressed throughout the day.

To be clear: Big weddings can be a great choice for many couples, BUT they aren’t for everyone. We are not anti-big weddings – we’re just pro-you! Everyone deserves a wedding that feels true to who they are whether it’s a big wedding or an adventure elopement!

Is an elopement a real wedding?

Absolutely yes. An elopement is every bit a real wedding as any big traditional wedding. If you look across the world and across the history of the human race, weddings are and have been held in thousands of different ways. Just because modern elopements are different from the current Western traditional wedding does not mean they’re less in any way. 

Elopements are also legal weddings, just like traditional ones. The marriage license that declares you legally married is the same whether you have an elopement or a traditional wedding.

Can we elope if we’re already planning a big wedding?

Yes! In fact, the majority of couples that elope were originally planning a big wedding and realized it wasn’t for them. If you’re planning a big wedding you may feel stuck with your decision, but you’re not! We promise. And if you’re feeling that way with your plans, or like you don’t know what to do, Reach out to us! We would love to encourage and assist you in creating the wedding experience that’s best for you! 

Should I elope?

We could talk a lot about how to determine whether having an elopement is right for you, but here’s the short answer: If you read this entire blog post, as well as this one, and you feel drawn to the experience of having an elopement, then the answer is most likely: Yes! You should elope!

How much does an elopement cost?

Elopement budgets vary from couple to couple but you can expect to spend an average of $8,000-$20,000 on your elopement depending on your location, priorities, activities, and much more. The average cost of a traditional wedding is $30,000, with 60% ($18,000) of the budget being just venue and catering, which are things you likely won’t have to worry about! Eloping allows you to put your money towards the things you truly value and get the best experience possible.

The one piece of advice that applies to every couple no matter what their budget or location: Prioritize your photography. Spending an extra X amount of dollars now, won’t matter to you much in 10, 20, or 40 years. But having photos that you’re not in love with and not having your memories documented? That will matter. 

Can I have guests at my elopement?

Yes! Bring your parents, your best friends, your pets, whoever you want! That being said, do keep in mind that in order to keep your elopement intimate and focused on your relationship, we recommend no more than 20 guests. Reference Step 4 of our guide for more info!

Do people who elope regret it?

We certainly can’t answer on behalf of every couple who has ever had an elopement, but we can say that in our own personal experience and the experience of hundreds of other people: No they do not! Couples who elope are extremely happy with their decision and so relieved that they chose to do it. 

Often it’s actually couples who have big, traditional weddings who have regrets about their wedding and wish they would have eloped instead. Whether that’s because they felt pressured to go through with a traditional wedding, didn’t know modern elopement was an option, or they were overwhelmed and went with the safe option. 

No matter the reason, our heart breaks every time we hear someone mention how they regret the way they had their wedding, and we want to do all we can to prevent that from happening for as many people as possible – that’s why we created this guide! 

How long does an elopement last? 

It’s entirely up to you! You can have a 3-Day adventure spending some time with guests, some time on your own, and doing everything your heart desires. OR you could keep it simple and contain your elopement to a single day. The most common elopement length for our couples is a 2-day elopement, followed by a full-day (12-hour) elopement.

Always discuss your elopement vision in-depth with your elopement photographers and have them help you decide how long it should be. They should know how long things typically take, and how to create a custom timeline that will allow you to experience everything you want to, while still remaining unhurried and present.

How to Choose the Perfect Elopement Location

Your elopement is a love story, and your location is the paper it will be written on.

Making a thoughtful decision about where to elope will enhance the depth and beauty of your experience. This will be the view you see, the air you breathe, and the smells, and sounds you experience as you walk hand-in-hand into marriage! Your location is important because your marriage is.

There are more possibilities than we can name, but here’s an exercise to help get the ball rolling and narrow down the types of scenery you want for your elopement. 

First, consider what type of places you’ve always loved, places that speak to your heart. 

Consider:

Second, ask yourselves these questions:

• Do you want to elope somewhere nearby, somewhere you’ve traveled to before, or somewhere completely new?
• Thinking of the 2-3 types of scenery you chose, are there any that hold special significance to you two? (A beach where you had your first date, a mountain you’ve always dreamed of seeing together, etc.)
• Will you be having guests? If yes, how many and what is their accessibility like?
• Are there specific activities you want to do on your elopement day? 
• If you’re in nature, would you be open to hiking or not?

Lastly, bring your ideas to your elopement photographers! Their experience and expertise in choosing amazing locations will be so helpful in turning your ideas into a reality! 

Our Biggest Piece of Advice for Planning an Elopement

Trust your intuition and let your heart guide you every step of the way; the perfect elopement is the one that resonates with your unique love story and will create lasting memories for you and your partner.

Congrats! You’re now equipped to start planning the adventure elopement of your dreams!

The next step is easy: reach out to us so we can start helping you plan!

We’re Sammie and Micah! A married team of elopement photographers who eloped ourselves, so we understand how important it is to have photos that are beautiful and tell the story of your experience. We know your photos are your memories and we take that responsibility seriously. 

We help all of our couples with planning, choosing a location, creating timelines, researching permits, and much more in order to make your elopement as stress-free as possible.

We’ve fallen in love with creating intentional elopement experiences while capturing artistic images that showcase true emotion. We focus on helping couples make their dream elopement a reality, all while being present in the moment and connected to each other.